10/25/06

That's Some Kinda Update!

Well, here we are, approaching Halloween. Is that awesome? Probably. I had a pretty good run there, what with all the postings and the suchlike. I'd just like to say that I hate Rogers. I mean, they're good guys I guess but really they are jerks. I won't go into the details, but I was this close to cancelling my service last night. But I didn't.

Some ideas I'm working on:

- Private investigation company
- Being more awesome
- Getting rid of some junk
- Denouncing my faith
- Yelling into the void
- Jumping up and down a lot
- Games of urban warfare
- Ways to make more money
- Etc.

Hahahah, also, I finally caved and bought an iPod. But it was worth it! It's totally excellent. This is not a plug for Apple. Other than that I am looking for an apartment with an office. For EVIL!

10/13/06

Only The Good

Why are the good taken
What shall be left for me
A matter of timing
Too timid to fight for it

Too much respect for those
Who've put in the time and effort
I want the easy route
I want instant gratification

How easily we build up
Structures in our head of the reality
Seeming to be accurate
But reality's a crutch, expanding

Why are the good taken
A strange lover's lament
Left with the leftovers
Forgotten in the face of romance

Nothing good comes easily
But easy comes as easy goes
I'd settle for second-best
If my intentions were good, that is

Dreamscapes plan out the days ahead
Past, present, and future blend together
In a horrendous picture
A dance best left unstepped

Time flows in a circle
The days become a year
The years become your life
Help me make this liveable

Help me undertake the misgivings
Aid me in shedding these heavy robes
I need an assistant
But so much more

Each week a new flavour
Smothering in sweet syrup
I forget the original texture
A mixture of pain and regret

Every line is about love
Every verse is about longing
Each letter a piece of the puzzle
Nothing remains

Why are the good taken
I must have spoken too soon
Life can be so serious
Take some time out to scream into the void

This is happening all over again
Infinetely definite interpretations
A contradiction in as many terms
Soldering the empty shells to form a whole

Why are the good taken
Friendship is beauty
Trust is golden
Rely on your instinct

10/10/06

Awesome Vs. Lame

Awesome: Finding a five-dollar bill on the ground!
Lame: Finding five-dollars worth of live bees in your pants.

Awesome: Roasting marshmallows!
Lame: When your marshmallow catches fire and you wave it around to extinguish the flames, but it's so gooey inside that the flaming crust flies off and lands in your girlfriends' hair and lights her hair on fire and then she is hella pissed at you for lighting her hair on fire.

Awesome: Getting wasted!
Lame: Not remembering what happened after the fourth shot of tequila, then waking up with a bad case of STDs.

Awesome: Water-balloon fights!
Lame: Getting hit with a water balloon filled with cat pee.

Awesome: Getting the Christmas present you really wanted!
Lame: Getting the Christmas present you wanted least, which was a stainless steel coffee mug filled with angry scorpions and hungry tarantulas.

Awesome: Making out with that girl you've always had the hots for!
Lame: Getting your face bitten off by that dog you've always been really afraid of.

10/6/06

INCREDIBLE RESEARCH FINDINGS

I have done some extensive research, I have come to several conclusions:

1) Most blogs are written by losers and schizophrenics.
2) I am 89% talented and awesome.

3) Nonsensical Gibberish is the best blog ever, and should be read by everyone. (Including babies, the elderly, dogs, cats, and certain rodents)
4) Eating paint chips will increase your quality of life.
5) Women love me. Looooooove me.
6) Asian people are cool. Well, except for one specific Asian guy, who is my arch-nemesis. I'll get you Asian Dude (A.D. for short)! You may have done absolutely nothing to deserve this verbal punishment, however, here we are.
7) DO NOT, under any circumstances, use hand sanitizer on anywhere other than your hands.
8)http://nonsensical-gibberish.blogspot.com
9) A man is capable of doing some pretty desperate deeds, if pushed over the line.

Until Next Time,

Jibber-Jabber (aka Dr.Edit)

Unremarkable Last Words #2

"Oh shit, I left the porch light on all night."

KING OF BLOGS


"I Hereby Declare, Upon This Sixth Day Of October, In The Year Two Thousand And Six, That Nonsensical Gibberish Is Hereby Appointed The KING Of All Blogdom"
- Senior Blogland Magistrate

Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy, Advice Column #6

"Always follow your dreams. If you don't follow your dreams, then man, you are ten kinds of sucka."
-Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy

10/5/06

The Most Legal News Anchor

So, I'm walking back from the grocery store this evening. Guy passes me on the street. Stops.
"Hey, are you a news anchor?" says guy.
"No." says I.
"So, are you a lawyer?"
"No."
"Oh, alright."
Then he just walks away! Like, what the hell. Maybe it was the suit. Maybe it was the fresh haircut. Maybe it was the go-to-it attitude. Still, I ain't no news anchor, and I definetely ain't no lawyer. Guy was on drugs....you could practically smell the PCP.

The Original Achewood Comic



The first Achewood comic. For much laughter and mucho hilarity,
whence you must go, to www.achewood.com!

Remarkable Last Words

"Damn it Judy! I might be dying, but you're still a bitch!"






















www.homestarrunner.com

Embarrassing Tapes


Yes, Whitesnake and Milli Vanilli.
Embarrassing.

Reciprocation

For LJ as per our conversation on Oct.5/06

Reciprocation

Everything started out fine
Outlook was great
Fine dining, wine
Sparkle and shine
Growing ever closer
It's great to know ya
"Why don't you stay over?"
Reciprocation's not necessary
Just a little appreciation please
Gave up elements of self
To understand you better
Altered my perception
To fit you in a mold
Now to pick those peices up
Is becoming a challenge
Hesitate regularly
Second-guessing doubtfully
These words and images
Are simply that
This picture is only a reflection of you
These words a mirror image
Stir it up
And cause a ripple
Images become temporarily distorted
Nothing ever stays exactly the same
Except love, fundamentally
Darling
I never cared about your faults
Saw them refracted in my eyes
Felt the need to lie
Some big secret you couldn't share
Don't read too deeply
Into this
After all
It's just poetry
It's just a drawing
Would it have been different
If I'd bought you flowers instead?

Unremarkable Last Words #1

"Did you clean the fish tank yesterday.................."

10/4/06

Artist Profile: Unknown

Unknown
Hometown: Ottawa, ON, Canada
Genre: Balls-Out Rock
On The Web: www.myspace.com/dabandunknown

Hey Asian Dude!



I'm calling you out Asian dude. No, I am not some kind of racist. I know what you're thinking. You could be any race! It doesn't matter. And why, you may ask, am I calling you out? Why, you may ask, am I committing such uncalled-for libel against you over the Internet? Because this site is THE REAL NONSENSICAL GIBBERISH. DO YOU HEAR ME ASIAN DUDE? Change your URL! Do people really believe that you are a) nonsensical or b) full of gibberish? Take a look at the entire history of this blog (on your fancy-pantsy computer) and then maybe you can talk about being nonsensical.

Wait....what's that Asian dude? Oh yeah, that's right. YOU GOT NOTHIN'. This is an official calling out.

Dear Readers: please help me in calling this guy out. Leave some angry comments at www.nonsensicalgibberish.com. Serves Asian dude right for stealin my g-damn domain name!

Down With Asian Dude,

Mr. Editor

Artist Spotlight - Atherton & Sire

Growing up in an east Ottawa suburb very few shared the same creative interest in Hip-Hop music that Atherton & Sire had; it was only natural that the two came together. Coming from similar musical backgrounds, both having tried their hand at rock n roll, the two found a niche in hip-hop and have been building upon it ever since. Starting their earliest live performances at high school coffee houses and local house parties, it became apparent rather quickly that many a man, woman and child were drawn to their sound. With production ranging from gritty soulful sample based music to clean crisp midi composed beats and a foundation in conceptual lyrics Atherton & Sire cover a lot of ground. Having toured independently throughout Quebec, Ontario and the northern United States as well as opening for the likes of J-Live, Brother Ali and Sage Francis, Atherton & Sire have been honing their skills as live performers. Atherton & Sire, now both 23 respectively, are currently in full swing promoting the release of their debut full-length album A different way of doing the same old thing. Both members believe that this project is of the highest caliber.


Listen to some tight tracks and then buy this album! You won't regret it.

www.myspace.com/athertonsire

GO THERE NOW!

Something to say

How I wish I had something to say
But it all gets erased
And easily washed away

For these words I have money to pay
But problems to be faced
Lead me heavily astray

Depending on the season
My excuses become reasons
My bum knee kicks in

Consider this a personal ad
I'm not really up-to-date
The latest fads kinda elude me

I'm not perfect - understatement
Don't get me wrong
I don't stay locked in the basement

It's the let down
The big surprise turnaround
Scientific breakthrough of the year

"Maybe there just aren't enough
Words to rhyme with sunshine"
I heard through the grapevine

Subliminal thoughts
Make up the majority
Of these mental processes

From one day to the next
I can't remember who I am
Or what my values are

Did I miss some essential step
In evolution - Or did I trip
Spilling my load full of textbooks into the abyss

I'm not really negative
It's just that I'm pretty neutral
Life of the party act is getting tired

Don't remember what to say
In certain situations
Crossing the line without invitation

"Say something positive,
For once" That's funny
It's all relative

Black to me, is blue to you
I'm too mellow to care
About sunshine's yellow

So if you pass me in the street
Don't say hello
I don't care anymore

Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy, Advice Column #5

"Often we judge objects or people by their appearance. However, their contents are purpose could be quite valuable to us, yet we pass them by because they look old or ugly. A wise man takes the time to investigate, using every opportunity for knowledge. Well, except for bananas. I mean, those motherfuckers taste good, but they last like, a day! And when those motherfuckers got brown on 'em, you better believe they are all mushy and shit inside. Fuck that shit! People are all, "make some banana bread!" And I'm all, "Fuck that! I ain't makin' no motherfuckin' banana bread!"
-Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy

10/3/06

Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy, Advice Column #4


"Be honest in all things. Especially about your kung-fu skills. I hate it when people say they know Kung-fu, when motherfuckers have no idea! Shit balls! Learn some motherfucking Kung-fu, then come back and say that shit! Stupid motherfuckers."
-Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy

A Letter To Google Ads

Ah, I see that now we are alone, you and I, Google Ads. First of all, what's with the cold treatment? Have I said or done something wrong? Maybe. But why do you deny me so outright and forthwith? Fuck Google Ads....you know what? No, FUCK YOU! I've given you everything! And what do I get in return? JACK ALL. I even mentioned you! Like you deserved it. And you said I was too profane, obscene, rude. HA! What about you, Google? Huh, how many porn hits did I get when I typed in "hot hot sex" into your search engine? Many! Yeah, well I may be profane but at least I am not an Internet Pimp. So, take your ads and shove 'em, I don't need them anyway. So go ahead! Just try and shut me down.

Editor

More Rejected Porn Titles

Sorry, these are just in bad taste. Enjoy!

The Land Before Hymen
Brokesack Mountin'
Lucky Number Penis
Wedding Night Crashers
Debbie Deals Blackjack
Grandma's Toy
The WenchWarmers
Hampster & Me
Two If By Pee

Lustre Lost

Love, leaving
Lustre lost

Time, weaving
Summer frost

Mimes, keeping
Pace with moss

Months, bleeding
Pension's cost

Wives, needing
Men to boss

All things, considered
Given choice

Letters, delivered
Silent voice

Nighttime, littered
Falling stars

Ever, after
Sung in bars

Swinging, slowly
Lover's sonnet

Watching, waiting
Sheltered forest

All things, life goes unnoticed
Lustre love, leaving for us

Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy, Advice Column #3

"In life we often encounter obstacles. However, it is important to remember that there is an easy solution to any problem. Kung-fu kick those mothafuckin' obastacles, bitches! Goddamn mothafuckin' obstacles."
- Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy

Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy, Advice Column #2

"When searching for enlightenment, one must first clear the mind of any thoughts. This way you open up your spirit, and feel the energy of the universe. Next, kick any motherfucker's ass that gets in your way. Goddamn motherfuckers!"
-Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy

Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy, Advice Column



"If you are walking down a path, and you see a bee lying in the road unable to fly, step on the motherfucker. Motherfucker would have bit you!"
- Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy

Apologies & Anorexia

This is mostly to cover my ass. I'm always apologizing to fat chicks. I really don't mean slightly overweight women. The ones we deal with her on Nonsensical Gibberish are morbidly obese. I think it is important to make that distinction.

And Now.......Anorexia!

It's Genetic, Right?

10/2/06

Deviant!!

Oh Internet! Poor poor blog, how we have strewn/strown from our original purpose!
It used to be simple...so simple. How did a blog called Nonsensical Gibberish become Sensical Information? It must have something to do with Rationality. FIE I say! FIE on Rationalism.
Henceforth, this blog shall be used only for the purposes of randomness! Oh, and information, politics, and fat chicks? I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE!

Well anyway, this should make you sufficiently ill.

I've searched the web so you don't have to!

Here are some great links which you will enjoy.

www.dinosaurcomics.com
www.whiteninjacomics.com
www.achewood.com
www.drmcninja.com
www.homestarrunner.com
www.dieselsweeties.com
www.asofterworld.com
www.boasas.com
www.stupidvideos.com
www.collegehumour.com

More to come! Stay tuned.....

Did Al Gore Invent the Internet?



Bush runs commercials mocking Al Gore saying the he claims to have invented the Internet. Bush claims Gore is a liar and that he can't be trusted.

Gore never claimed that he "invented" the Internet, which implies that he engineered the technology. The invention occurred in the seventies and allowed scientists in the Defense Department to communicate with each other. In a March 1999 interview with Wolf Blitzer, Gore said, "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet."

Taken in context, the sentence, despite some initial ambiguity, means that as a congressman Gore promoted the system we enjoy today, not that he could patent the science, though that's how the quotation has been manipulated. Hence the disingenuous substitution of "inventing" for the actual language.

But the real question is what, if anything, did Gore actually do to create the modern Internet? According to Vincent Cerf, a senior vice president with MCI Worldcom who's been called the Father of the Internet, "The Internet would not be where it is in the United States without the strong support given to it and related research areas by the Vice President in his current role and in his earlier role as Senator."
The inventor of the Mosaic Browser, Marc Andreesen, credits Gore with making his work possible. He received a federal grant through Gore's High Performance Computing Act. The University of Pennsylvania's Dave Ferber says that without Gore the Internet "would not be where it is today."
Joseph E. Traub, a computer science professor at Columbia University, claims that Gore "was perhaps the first political leader to grasp the importance of networking the country. Could we perhaps see an end to cheap shots from politicians and pundits about inventing the Internet?"

So, it would appear that Bush is the one lying and can't be trusted. If it wasn't for Al Gore, you might not be reading this web page right now.

The Plan


Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)

"I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good ole boys", we will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan? "The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "

Robin's shirt says "I love New York" in arabic.

A Message From Mr. Harper

Same Old Bullshit Story

From Metro - Feb.2/06

Businesses cracking down on graffiti
by Kenneth Jackson

A group of urban business associations have plans to make downtown graffiti a thing of the past.
Meg McCallum, president of the ByWard Market Business Association, said business owners are fed up with graffiti and her group has teamed with two other downtown associations to fight back.
With the added support of the Rideau and Vanier BIA's, McCallum has been drumming up ideas for a graffiti clean up and prevention program that she hopes can begin by May.
"We're still hammering out the details of how this is going to work," she said, noting that commercial building owners in urban areas have been battling a recent spike in graffiti vandalism.
One idea is to have building owners commit to removing graffiti within 24 hours of it appearing. McCallum said there's evidence that quickly removing graffiti 'tags' reduces the chances of a building being hit again in the future.
"By the second or third time they tend to get the message that there's no point of tagging, because it will be removed."
The associations are also considering hiring a private contractor to clean buildings when they are defaced.
They have received tips from Ottawa Police on how to deter would-be vandals.
Installing motion sensor lighting equipment and building gates and fences to block access to buildings are among the recommendations.
Ottawa Police Staff-Sgt. Paul Johnston said vandals must realize they are not engaging in "street art," but are committing a crime. They not only deface the building but the entire community around it, he said.

The Spark

I know sometimes it seems like I think you're strange
The way I turn my eyes away and look at the window pane
Maybe it's just that I'm afraid you'll run away
If I told you all the things I've always wanted to say

I know the world is filled with promises and good intentions
How easily they can be taken for plain greed and misconception
Inside I know that trust is hard when you've been told so many lies
You love yet you despise the pain when something in you dies

Time and time again you've been told it would be different
I won't repeat those words, I'll only show you truth through my intent
A melody, a kiss, an embrace that lasts a little longer
Without words I'll show you how my heart grows fonder

The spark in your eyes, holds a meaning that words can't describe
They flicker every time you beckon me inside
Though sometimes I like to go outside and play
Darling to be honest, I cherish our lazy days

Hopefully what little I have to offer is enough
I've learned that it's okay to be in love
When we can't find the words to say
I'm sure we'll find another way

One Thing For Sure

If I knew the answers
I wouldn't be asking questions

If I knew myself
I wouldn't be searching my soul

If I knew the whole truth
I wouldn't be looking for signs

I know one thing for sure
You make life a little more bearable

If I held the key to life
Should I tell the world

If I built a wall big enough
Would it keep you inside

If I held you close enough
Would your secrets become mine

I know one thing for sure
This love is sublime

If I could live forever
Would I watch the world collapse

If I found the answer to violence
Would I fight to keep it safe

If I lingered just a moment longer
Would it change anything

I know one thing for sure
I can't take my eyes from your face

If this is as good as it gets
Consider me ecstatic

If everything could be as simple as this
The world would last forever

If time is just an illusion
Then talk a little softer

I know these things for sure
Because in my dreams I've been to the end of time

And this I know for sure
Because I've seen you and I

Sicker Than This

What's even sicker than this
Is the fact that maybe none of this exists
Smash it all with a flick of the wrist
A mirror image, anonymous

If time is static, never flowing
It's really just the moments that keep going
I tried to catch one but it wasn't slowing
We've borrowed so much time by now I think we must be owing

What's even stranger than that
Is the fact that to me the world seems flat
Even from high on this mountaintop mat
Here in the Appalachians, Rockies, Ararat

What's even stranger than fiction
Is this reality addiction
Faith is judged by the severity of your conviction
That's hard when most of the world refuses to listen

So, if in actuality nothing is real
Then tell me why do we think, act, smell, smile, and feel
Why do filthy drunken bastards get behind the wheel
Why does it hurt when blood turns into steel

To feel so much
When reality's a crutch
Seems a bit out of touch
So and so, what's his name, such and such

Do you have a whiff of the gist
Why sometimes I get triste
And often downright pissed
I hide it well in the ethereal mist

This could become rather monotonous
Constantly debating the face of love and lust
Long after all the machines have run out of rust
And the last creatures begin choking on dust

Will our memory fade?
What will be left of the great plans we made?
Our greedy hearts cried out for blood but no one sharpened the blade
All of the debts never even got paid

What's sicker than all of that
Is a big thick pancake stack
A fat lazy cat
And a notebook full of raps

Simple Man

I'm just a simple man
With some real big plans
Trying as hard as I possibly can
Gotta gain some fans
With my full spray cans
Spreading the word of life throughout the land

I've got no evil in me, no malice or spite
Whether it's lyrics or graffiti, i just gotta write
Until that day when the people unite
I'll keep rhymin for free, and shinin my light

It's pretty simple, yo it's not complicated
I get so damn high, you can call me elevated
Most mc's these days just roll over and play dead
Like a psychologist I get all up in ya head

Figure it out, this mathematic equation
My songs don't get played on no radio station
Y'all fuck around you go on permanent vacation
'Cause I love life and money's never been my motivation

I thought about goin solo but that ain't right
Maybe there's more to life than rockin a mic
Beatdown and Wordsmith got my back in a fight
The only weapons i've got are my mind and my might

Te quiero, mi amor

Te quiero mas que palabras pueden decir
Usted me hace mejor

Usted es el sol de mi dia
Algo pierde cuando usted es ido

Yo nunca pensé podría adorar este tanto
Por eso duele tanto despedirse

Este amor que tenemos se siente tan correcto
Usted me levanta arriba más allá de todos los problemas del mundo

Escribo estas palabras para usted sólo
Ningún otro puede comparar a su belleza

Si tuve mi manera, usted nunca sería besado
Por cualquier otro hombre en su vida entera

Quizá algún día yo tendré suficiente valor
Para pedir que usted ser mío para siempre

Te quiero, mi amor.

Writer's Block

The pen rests in my hand
Fingers limp on the keyboard
Hear the clock tick and tock
I think this is writer's block

I've tried being off the wall
I've tried being casually brief
This brainstorm has passed over
Now no cloud in the sky

Brooding over three cups of coffee
My style went astray
I've dreamt of Kerouac
On the road at home and away

I know there's potential here
Paving the road to greatness
Each word a stepping stone
To publish my brain in print

I've tried to open your minds
To find the key to open mine
But when i picked the lock
I realized it was locked from the inside

Maybe this is all i've got
Is this the peak of my imagination
What do I have to sacrifice
To get some recognition

My bones bleach in the sand
Focused on the mirage of the reward
A lonely bird with no flock
This must be writer's block

Twas the night before Christmas....in the ghetto


Twas the night before christmas,
and all through the ghetto,
all the lowlives were drinking,
and listening to heavy metal.
The kids were all up,
and all loudly screaming,
"Where's Santa?" They'd shout.
They're all little demons.
And up from the rooftop, arose smoke and ashes
'Cause some guy passed out, left his smoke on the mattress
And all through the ghetto, an angel's chorus of sirens
Arose through the night, to combat christmas violence
As rednecks and hoodlums all started to fight,
They felt christmas spirit, and fucked off for the night.

Buddhist Oath



Buddhist Oath
For as long as space endures
and for as long as living beings remain
until then may i too abide to dispel the misery in the world.

Here's to the crazy ones

From Kendra's Blog: Author unknown

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo.

You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal.

They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?

Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?We make tools for these kinds of people. While some may see them as the crazy ones, I see genius.Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Inspiration

Where is my inspiration?
I think I lost it that time I sat down on the couch.
Maybe I should overturn the cushions and search for treasure.

Where is my motivation?
It probably got left behind when we got kicked out of the hotel.
Maybe I should call the lost and found.

I'm not really sure what to say anymore
I hope this doesn't sound too forced
Really, I am trying to be honest
Can you handle the truth?

What is my reason for living?
It's not that I'm depressed, no, not at all.
Quite the opposite, I'm searching for some meaning.

Why do I love you so?
When my heart became yours, I felt it.
Like we were only waiting for this to happen.

I'm beginning to understand
By writing this down
It's becoming more clear
With every word I hold on to a memory

Where are my revelations?
I expected a few more, but maybe life is really simple.
Maybe I should read some more philosophy.

What happened to my expectations?
I might've had some once.
Maybe they just get in the way of living your life.

Now, THIS makes sense.
What we have IS real.
I've found a key to happiness.
Shoot, now where did I leave it?

These Beats

Beats pour from the city street
Metal clash, concrete buckles, heat & ash
Stereo made out of garbage cans sounds sweeter
Take cues from the barking dog rhythm section

Soundscapes to landscapes
From the mountaintop to the ocean
The stream's long-playing LP lasts a millenium
We just borrow these sounds, give them back when we die

Trees whisper, they aren't angry, they do battle with the wind
Swaying to the lazy tempo
They were influenced by their roots
Which go way underground

Back in the day we beat on drums
Made of skin
But all the songs were about being alive
Now we all sing about dying

As desert sands shift
They discover a new artist
Call him the next oasis
With a cool refreshing style

The mountains know, they were once big stars
On their slow decline
As they're mined for golden hits
They die a litlle more each time, waiting for their big chance, to erupt

Sounds leak from the clouds
Sometimes a frantic trance beat
Set in tempo to a laser light show
With a deafening climax

Car alarms on constant loop
Make your backbone slide
This crazy techno can't continue forever
Sweet lady birdsongs are forgotten, pure

Junglists dance in the rainforest
Trying to protect endangered species with their love
Death metal machetes slice bones making drumsticks
To pound out the beat backed by chainsaws

Only the universe knows
It has heard all these songs before
God's only a record executive
Waiting for the next star to be born

A Moment

Just a moment or two
Spent with you
Is enough

These moments remind me
I am alive
And I love

The way your eyes reflect light
The way you know what I am thinking
When I can't find the right words to say

Silence is comfort
When everyone just wants to talk
But it's all been said

I have memories of you
But they're not as vivid
I remember what you look like

Our bodies fit
Like puzzle peices
You found the missing one

I'll drink you in, with my eyes
I'm thirsty
An oasis in the desert

Your kiss, the sun
Your love, the earth
And me, everything in between

You wear your emotions on your face
You'd probably
Be bad at bluffing

A limited edition
Something so rare
Highly coveted

I think I'll keep you
What fool
Would let you go?

Before

I've feel like I've been here before
Walking barefoot down a dim lit hall
I recognize every painting on the wall
Yet still I feel like a stranger

I know I've said these things before
But somehow they've found new meaning
I'm so behind in my cleaning
But you don't seem to mind

I've watched you sleep before
But you've never looked like this
Your hair falls in your face when we kiss
Your make-up stains my pillowcase

I think I've had these thoughts before
The time and place remain nameless
All night long I talk and digress
What I meant to say was lost

What was on these hills before
A temple to an old god
A mad scientist's lightning rod
Now only you stand before me

In this place I've been before
Wandering lost without a purpose
I'm not sure how I earned this
The floor feels cold against my skin

Just like before
She said the words didn't matter
Listen for melody in the clatter
I couldn't help but hesitate

You say "before you go, don't forget
To tell me all the things you meant to"
Too late, I've put on my last shoe
And now you're waving from the window

So before I get in too deep
Something you should know
Wading slowly in the river's flow
I'll always remember this moment

Before this all started out
I'd never had a chance to dream
Singing softly like a muffled scream
My hourglass has been turned around

I know I've said these things before
On every door I've knocked in vain
For shelter, grief, and even pain
But wait, these things hold meaning

Before life, an empty space
A canvas blank, a better bet
Before it fades, just to forget
To drift away, in sweet harmony

Gleam

I feel like The Machinist
Or wait - did I dream this
I must be a schemist
Do I even exist

Wait a minute - hesitate
Worked hard - never late
Letter sealed my fate
My eyes are agape

Sleep eludes me
Fear is all I see
What's that behind she
Car alarms nightly

This city doesn't sleep
I should be counting sheep
Mild and I'm meek
I feel like an antique

Like the machinist
I'll try and erase this
Remove every blemish
And catch 40 winks

Google Image Search: Stinky Bush

Sorry Mates

Hey, sorry for not posting much....but you know how life is, don't you? DON'T YOU? Sorry for shouting. But it's frustrating when people are constantly whining: "Why don't you update your blog.......waaah wah wah?" Well stay tuned for more fabulous content!


Now everybody Freak Out!

Dirty Limmerick Challenge


Who doesn't like dirty limmericks?

Here is an exchange that Adam and I had on myspace. Vote for your favourite limmerick to determine the winner!

Please submit limmericks and I will post them.

Adam:
i once knew a man named patel
a hindu with too much hair gel
we shared a few beer
and spoke of Kashmir
then he blew me up as well

Dan:
I once knew a man from Orlando
Who looked like a young Marlon Brando
He pulled down his pants
And I stole a quick glance
Since that day, I've been going commando!

Adam:
I once met a girl half my age
who carried a skunk in a cage
she smelled bad its true
but better than you
and sucked balls for minimum wage

Dan:
I know this girl up in Poughkeepsie
Who gets rather loose when she's tipsy
So I slipped her a five
And she let me inside
But now I'm the worst kind of itchy

Adam:
there once was a russian named yuri
who loved to eat hot chicken curry
the naan bread it seems
soaked up his dreams
and came out his ass in a hurry

Dan:
If I had a spaceship or rocket
You'd probably sit there and mock it
But once it took off
You'd hack and you'd cough
And wave with your hand in your pocket

Adam:
I once knew a fair skinned blonde lass
for bus fare, she'd eat out your ass
One day at home
after a rusty trombone
I blew that bitch right back to class

Dan:
I once saw a man in the gutter
"Help me!" he stammered and sputtered
I offered my hand
And he said "My, that's grand!"
Then I wrecked his old face with my putter

Adam:
their did live a dame from New Delhi
who liked when you puked on her belly
but it just gets worse
shes terribly cursed
and her ass squirts petroleum jelly

Dan:
A dashing young man from the Glades
Who had quite a craving for trades
Gave up a dung beetle
In exchange for a needle
And now the poor bastard has AIDS

Adam:
there was once a great dane they called booker
whose owner was quite good at snooker
He'd hang out at the halls
and sink all the balls
then he'd go haggle with hookers

Dan:
There was a young girl from Long Island
Who had quite an unusual hymen
It seemed that the slut
Could make it open and shut
So she told all the boys they could climb in

Adam:
there was a young man who bred turkeys
he would dry them for all kinds of jerkys
one night he was tanked
and met this old skank
he now has some terrible herpes

Dan:
There once was a young girl from Reuters
Who fell victim to several looters
When she thought she'd be knifed
She begged for her life
And showed off her fabulous hooters

Adam:
there was once a young man who was bitten
by a vampire in woolen mittens
the curse it seems
affected he dreams
and he awoke with the head of a kitten

Dan:
There was a young lady from Kent
Who'd tell all the boys to get bent
But she would turn tricks
And suck any old dick
When it came time to pay rent