Gotta Have My Java

Bean of my dreams
The only one I'll ever need
As I sit here drinking my second cup
Reading People (about stars and their bucks)
I look over at Timothy's watch
And I realize - it's Nabob time
So we head over to Maxwell's house
Where we can get our grind on
Sweet mother bean
The bean of my dreams
I know i've said this before
But she gives me just the kick I'm looking for
Timothy's an architecture buff
A real bridge head
So we head down below
Where the bums strain drainwater
Through used filters
Now THAT's a fine cuppa Joe.
A fair trade, if you ask me
For only a dollar and seventy-three
I'll take a cup or three
And I'm floating on air
I'll grabba jabba please
Actually can you make it a non-fat double shot long tall mocha chai latte
And please don't forget to give it an extra squeeze
Of goodness
I am in need
Of an express train to kill the pain
And I expressly made that espresso a quadruple
Because when it comes to my dark master
I really have no scruples
In fact I'd lick the liquid from the crack
Spilled on the sidewalk, as a snack
A little nibble if you please
A little coffee cake or slice of cheese
Would always be
Kinda nice
In fact, could someone pass me a mug
Filled with that delicious stuff?
Thank you, it's exactly what I need
A little pick-me-up in order to proceed
My medicine to get along
Someone made this extra strong
I think my heart just skipped a beat(beat.........beat, beat)
Now isn't this a treat
I've got this clarity of mind
I've determined the qualities for perfect grind
Somewhere right between coarse and fine
I carry beans around
And rail them whole
When coffee's not available
Don't judge me,I'm just like you
But I APPRECIATE a finer brew
I won't stop at one or two
Give me the whole pot!
You don't want to see me get upset
When I haven't had my Java yet
So make with the bean
The bean of my dreams
The only one I'll ever need.

Mitts the Cat

Mitts the cat
Was unusually fat
And there he sat
In his usual spot
On the window sill
A permanent fixture
If you will
He always had his meals delivered
Nothing but the finest
Cuts of chicken, fish and liver
And Mitts would always clean his plate
He'd never hear "You missed a spot!"
There was never a debate
Over food that went to waste
All the finest creams and truffles
Made the royal Mitts snuggle
Even bigger in the rays of sun
Watching silly people run
To a fro all day
Rushing back and forth, Olé!
If only they could be a cat
Stop worrying 'bout this and that
And lay around on comfy mat
Watching the sun
Arcing lazinly across the sky
If the humans only knew
The life he grows accustomed to
Is not the only one he leads
By night, while the people are asleep
Out from the kitty door he creeps
It's time to get another meal
It's time to make some piggies squeal
And sharpen claws to knives
It's time to terrorize my foes
And end their tawdry lives
I'll hunt down stray and pet alike
And make them beg and scratch and bite
But they will fall beneath my might
And I will eat their brains
I'll take on dogs and mice and rats
Hampsters, gerbils, lice and bats
Against my prey I don't discriminate
Killing is what brings me joy
Although come morning I'll recoil
Upon the mat on yonder sill
To reflect on last night's kill
And eat the finest food in town
After all, who needs a scratching post
When you can eat caviar on toast
Although he's haunted by the ghosts
Of all the foes he's laid to rest
It's a small price to pay
To be the best