Contributors

5/5/11

Smooth as in Smoothie: My Craigslist Missed Connection



I was standing behind you in line at the Orange Julius/Dairy Queen on Saturday. I couldn’t help staring at the butterfly tattoo on your right shoulder! “How original,” I thought. You must be either be a woman who appreciates originality, or a really convincing cross-dresser who appreciates originality.

Either way, I kept thinking of ways in my head to engage you in conversation. I thought of perhaps pretending to trip and bump into you, but that’s a classic, and too obvious. I also thought it would be a good idea to place some coins on the floor, and then tap you on the shoulder and say “I think you dropped something!” but what if you weren’t one of those people that carries change around?

In any case, I finally decided on a really great line: I’d lean over to you and say coyly: “Why do they call them smoothies? Is it because they’re smooth? I guess they should call the Blizzard’s chunkies then, because they’re definitely not smooth!” You would have laughed, and then we would have chatted and exchanged numbers while enjoying our delicious *smoothies*.

Alas, it was not to be as by the time I had thought of the world’s best pick-up line, you’d already gotten your smoothie and were headed up the escalator. I’m hoping we can pick up where we left off that day! Tell me what color my t-shirt with wolves on it was so I know it’s you.