Strongbad is THE MAN

Have you guys ever been to www.homestarrunner.com? If not, it is definetely worth a trip if you like hilarity, which everyone does. If you don't like hilarity there should be a special island that you're forced to live on where nothing is funny. Even funny looking bugs and plants are removed from the island prior to your arrival because they would not be appreciated by you, you cold, heartless son-of-a.

And now, a word: mint

Hard-Boiled Eggs

Man, I had a hard-boiled egg. That thing was like all kinds of delicious! With some salt straight up all over it. Does anyone realize the power of eggs? It is a real ridiculous power.

Bethesides, how long are hard-boiled eggs good for if kept in the fridge whence boiled. This one which I ate today was coming close upon two weeks old (all decorated and such with easter what-have-you's such as dye and crayon and mad stickers). Even though old, still mad delicious!?! Yes. And eggs have got all kinds of protein so which is good after riding your bike to work and be feeling very much protein-in-need-of.

Hard-boiled eggs I hereby re-name you "Awesome Ovals" or "Unfertilized Chicken Embryo Surprise." YOU decide, America?!?

How sweet is this blog

This blog is like ten kinds of sweet. I just can't stop posting. I am a posting maniac. I am the serial poster. I am a poster of the Batman Returns movie. WHAT?

Apology to fat women.

Yes, I realize that I may have been hasty to make fun of these fat women. So I am sorry, fat women of the world. I realize now that you are "just big boned" and that your problem is "genetic." To those of you who have died of congenital heart failure since these pictures were taken, I'll eat two footlong Subway sandwiches in your honour (yes, with extra meat).

Peace out fat women, peace out indeed.

What's with these fat women? Ever heard of portions?

Mommy, I am real scared. It's like "what if Jabba the Hut had babies."

Check out some fat chicks

My god this is totally disguting, I really want to throw up. Yet, at the same time, I can't look away. Hahahaha I think that the less fat girl on the right will look good when standing next to those other beluuuuuga's. I'm all for a little bit of cushion, but this is ridiculous. Somebody done super-sized these bitches. Look at her trying to get her pants to button over her gigantic bulge. JUST GIVE UP!!!

Rejected Porn Titles

Three Men and a Baby Dog
Two and a Half Sisters
Queer Guy for the Straight Eye
Eye Sockets 3
Really Tiny Penis Party
Here is Some Sex
Indiana Bones and the Member of Doom
Debbie Does Crosswords
Spoonin' to the Oldies
Centennarian Slut Bang
The Old Man Penis Show
Fisting University

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

I donno, pay like a dollar fifty?

Shoelace Fingernails

I am a pirhanna
YES a big pirhanna
Watch me swim so free
Biting off your knee-dealie
Loop de loops in waterville
Your blood is yummy when it spills
I'd like to taste your ankle next
Watch you struggling for breath
My friends all say "some tasty meat!"
"I call the eyes!" "And I, the feet!"
I could even eat your wang
That part has delicious tang
But don't tell anyone it's me
I am also a shy pirhanna
YES a timid pirhanna

I hate everything....NOT

Many people will say dumb things like "this is my first blog entry, I don't really know what I'm gonna do with it....blablabla some other dumb bullshit."

I will not say these things. This blog definetely has a purpose. You know what I'm saying? Something along the lines of confusing the hell out of everybody who reads it.

Monkeys monkeys monkeys. Change-purse. Volleyball.

In other news, I ate an apple. It was delicious. I wish Granny Smith was my real grandmother. She'd be all green and crispy....very sweet but often sour, as old people can often be. Old people are funny and smelly in nature. Mostly kind, but somethetime you run into a real crochety old bastard, who hates that you are young. I'll probably end up being one of those dudes.