How to deal with Cops

Never talk to the Police. Police will often ask questions, manipulate answers, and drop open-ended questions in order to get people to incriminate themselves. They have been trained in how to do this. You do not have to talk to the police, investigators, or even the FBI on the streets, if you have been arrested, or if you're in jail. Only a judge has the authority to order you to answer questions (and even then you can still plead the 5th).

Anything you say to a cop may be used against you and other people. Once you've been stopped or arrested, you can't talk your way out of it. Don't try to engage cops in dialogue or respond to accusations. If you are nervous about simply refusing to talk, you may find it easier to tell them to contact your lawyer. Once a lawyer is involved, the cops usually back off because they've lost their power to intimidate. Don't lie to the police - lying is a crime. If you've been arrested, don't talk about anything sensitive in police cars or jail cells, and don't talk to other inmates - you are probably being recorded.

If the police stop you on the street, ask, "Am I free to go?" If yes, walk away. If not, then you are being detained. Ask, "Can you explain why you are detaining me?" To stop you, cops must have specific reasons to suspect you of involvement in specific crime (not just a guess or stereotype). If the police try to search you, your car, or your home, say repeatedly that you do not consent to the search, but do not physically resist. Fight police harassment. Write down all police officers names & badge numbers, addresses of witnesses, the time, date, place and details of the incident. If stopped, get people to watch you. If you get arrested repeatedly tell the police "I do not want to talk until my lawyer is present." You have the right to make 3 telephone calls if you've been arrested on state charges and booked into jail. Demand this right.


Crushing Coke Capitalism and the Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

Good Morning. I'd like to take this opportunity to let you know that I am now 28 days completely smoke-free, after officially quitting on January 5th.
The first couple of months were a bit tricky, as I was just starting out and I slipped up quite a few times, usually when drugs and alcohol were in the mix. Now, when I breathe in second-hand smoke, I feel as though I'm choking. However, overall, it was way easier than I had originally thought it would be. What is everyone's problem anyway? In any case, this brings to mind an interesting article that I read recently (which you can read here). In this study compiled in Britain, Alcohol was the fifth most dangerous drug (accounting for more than half of all emergency room visits) and tobacco was ninth on the list (accounting for 40 per cent of all hospital illnesses). Here's the kicker: Cannabis was eleventh on the list, and ecstasy near the bottom. Interesting that these are both illegal substances. In the history of man, drugs have been used for many purposes, including religious ceremonies, recreation, and in medicine (this still holding true today). But if we concentrate only on "modern times" (for the sake of this posting, 1850 and beyond) we can see that many of the drugs deemed "illegal" today have been available over-the-counter for many years. Heroin (and its derivitives; morphine and codeine) was once used as commonly as alcohol, and was used in over-the-counter remedies including children's cough syrup. I find it interesting also that many "illegal" drugs are widely used in the field of medicine today and are even manufactured by certain governments.

Which brings me to my main point. Coca-Cola was originally created by a morphine-addicted war veteran as a brain tonic. The original formula was based upon the Coca plant (and yes, the original Coke had active cocaine) combined with the Cola nut (for flavor and caffeine). However, soon after the drink became popular, the active cocaine was removed. Also, Coke gave birth to modern advertising, so you can thank Coke for that too. In America, they drink a ridiculous amount of it, equaling five or six cups of sugar a day for the average family (mostly in the South, are you surprised?) They’re not interested in competing with other companies, they want to be THE ONLY company. They spend more on advertising than any other company worldwide, devoting the highest percentage of their revenue to advertising and sponsorship. Their goal (and I am not making this up) is to become the most popular drink on the planet, even more popular than water. I am the only one who sees something wrong with this? Coke is one of the major reasons so many Americans are obese, and again, if I’m not mistaken, the number of obese Americans surpasses 60%. And up here in Canada, we’re not too far behind. Even in the most remote tribal villages, where you may not even be able to buy medicine, you’ll find a strategically placed Coke machine. And Coke doesn’t even taste that great! It has no nutritional value, and the high levels of sugar and caffeine make it highly addictive. Coke is selling an image, and people are drinking it up like fiends. If something isn’t done, I envision a future where Coke will be the only thing available to drink anywhere. That’s pretty sad, and I think we should speak up and speak out against the Coca-Cola Corporation and other entities concerned with market domination.

Jibber-Jabber out.



Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy, Advice Column #8

"I wish to apologize to my loyal followers for my lengthy absence. I have been in retreat from the world, meditating on the purpose of my life, and considering matters of importance to the universe. Specifically, transgendered/transexual people. SERIOUSLY. Can't you motherfuckers choose a goddamn gender? For fuck's sake!"
- Thau Dong, Old Chinese Guy



Haro! Congraturations to Nonsensical Gibberish on your 1000th page visit! Who knew that what began in a small basement in Nebraska would turn into a global web phenomenon? I SURE DIDN'T. Yet, here we are. On the cusp of the new millenium, on the horizon of the future! I want to thank all the loyal visitors to the site, and all the people that visited once and most likely will never return. At last but not least, giraffes. You are so majestic, but not good at skateboarding (apparently).


Delicious Muff Diving!

This weekend I tried a most wonderful drink! It was called the Muff Dive. Much to my dismay, it did not taste like muffins as the name would suggest. I did like the whipped cream! And the best part! When the sweet nectar in the middle went gushing into my mouth. Delicious! The ladies were all screaming and taking photos. I guess that's what happens when you go Muff Diving! I wish I could have a Muff Dive every day!


Fact of the Day: Flying Squirrels!

Flying squirrels do not have the ability to employ powered flight so technically they cannot fly. However, they are excellent gliders and most can glide up to 200 feet, with some species achieving a distance of 1,500 feet. Flying squirrels travel at speeds of about 5 mph to 30 mph. They have a membrane that stretches between the front and back legs, forming a "wing" similar to a bird's when the squirrel's limbs are extended. The membrane actually works more like a parachute, than a wing, enabling the squirrel to glide, steer, and land softly. The cartoon character Rocket "Rocky" J. Squirrel is a flying squirrel.


Stuff it. Stuff it 'till it's full.

There's no better way (in my opinion) than to spend Hump Day thinking about Lobster Tacos. Oh yes, the classic Mexican dish.....with a twist! A twist of Lobster that is! BA-ZING. In other news, Lobster Tacos are delicious. Wait, that's not other news. I guess that's really all I have to say at this point.


Please HEAR me out.

Yes, I've been making music. And yes, it is awesome. Please proceed directly to www.myspace.com/declare1 for an earfull of good times.


If I....Would You?

If I threw up in your hair.....would you still love me?
If I ran over your cat....would you still care?
If I said you were ugly.....would you still hold me?
If I slapped your face for saying something stupid....would you still do the dishes?
If the situation were reversed, I know I would.
Despite all of my faults, you know I still love you.
If I burned your face with acid....would you still cook my meals?
If you caught me with another woman....would you still do that thing I like?
Good to know. THAT's loyalty.
If I turned my face away in disgust of your underarm stench....would you still look at me sweetly?
Through all of life's tribulations, these are my vows. When the going gets tough, don't ever change.