A transcription from Achewood Comics regarding finding a replacement for yourself after getting kicked out of a band.

Lyle: Hey T! You play bass? I need someone to stand in for me.

Teodor: Sure I can play the bass. Anyone can play the bass. It's an idiot's instrument. It was invented so the guitarist and drummer would qualify for the carpool lane.

Lyle: Careful shithead, I play the bass.

Teodor: Well, Sting has an IQ of 103, so as you can see it's just a high-functioning generalization. What's up?

Lyle: I....uh.....I gotta go meet the children of Senator Dell Graham.

Teodor: That's weird. What's the deal?

Lyle: Oh, he's an old friend of my dad's. Kind of a pain, what can you do. Total formality.

Teodor: That sucks. Where do I show up?

Lyle: We practice in Ray's spare room. Five o'clock.

www.achewood.com

Time for a silly poem!

Oh ducklings!
How you make me smile
Waddling so fervently
Swimming all the while
I can't help but think
You'd make a bite-sized snack
Delicious, tender, ripe and pink
But "No!" you'd say "Quack Quack!"
"I am but a duckling child
So new unto the world
I have yet to see the wond'rous wild
Or kiss a duckling girl!"
Please do not think of troub'ling things
For your purpose here is brief
How I would love to fry your wings
Or bake you in a quiche

Consumating

Yes indeed, a new way to find people who don't suck. If you're looking for your above average IQ and smart, witty, intelligent folks like yourself, look no further than www.consumating.com. This site allows you to post up to five profile pictures, as well as post pictures in their photo contests. Your popularity on the site is based on points. You accumulate points based on thumbs up given to your profile, your question answers, and your photo contest entries. You can also participate in discussions, or post a discussion of your own. I really enjoy this site and I highly reccomend it. My name on the site is "We live in the time of Robot Jebus". Go check it out! Go NOW!

Mark Zuckerberg Can Eat It.

Ha! Well, as was my eventual goal, I got myself kicked off of Facebook (www.facebook.com).

Apparently, you're not allowed to create groups that defame anyone. Whatever happened to a little bit of healthy libel? Now it seems as if someone is trying to hack into my hotmail account. Coincidence? I think it's YOU, Mark Zuckerberg. Well, if you can't take a joke, that is just too bad. Luckily you don't have any control over what I do here on Nonsensical Gibberish....tool.

I was just having a little fun. Now you had to go and ruin it. But never fear! I shall return to Facebook, and wreak my havoc upon you! From the man who brought you such awesome groups as "George W. Bush is a TOOL", "Mark Zuckerberg is a TOOL", "Facebook is for dummies, therefore I am a dummy", "Processed Cheese is super neato!", "The Group with the longest name on facebook, therefore the group that is #1", I say, I shall have my revenge. I encourage all of you Facebookers to stand up for my right to commit random acts of libel. Create groups demanding my return! BOW DOWN BEFORE MY MIGHT! Or you might end up just like 'ole Zuckerberg here.

Jibber-Jabber out.